Wednesday, May 18

Son or Investment?



Why do people raise their sons as if they are investing in an asset which will pay back itself when he gets married?
Having a son in our society is considered as a blessing. Not just because it is a belief that sons can carry forward their legacy, their family name, but people bring up their sons lot more affectionately, luxuriously, spoiling them, fulfilling all their relevant and irrelevant demands because their perception is, that in the end, when we get him married, we will cash all the investment with interest.
And, in case, the son is NRI, or somehow living in 'foreign land' immaterial of the tourist/ student/ work visa, then, the parents tend to think that their son has found some major treasure which can be en cashed after finding a suitable girl, (oh wait. Girl is suitable or not, doesn't make any difference) whose parents eagerly get ready to send their daughter to 'videsh' (on a very unrelated note, do watch this movie videsh/ Heaven on Earth featuring Preity Zinta, it portrays very well the plight of a girl sent off to foreign land to get married, but it has a high degree of super-normal fiction in the second half).
So, it happened this way. A family in my knowns, got their daughter, lets call her M, married to a man who lives in Australia who is basically son, lets call him H, of a close deceased friend and a neighbor of M's father. M was pursuing her masters degree in English Honors, but if we look at her for the first time, anyone can have the impression that she goes to school in some 7th or 8th grade. Yes, she looks that naive and little.
Anyway, So the H's mother practically begs M's father to get the children married, because with her son living in Australia, she has nobody around by the time she and her prospective daughter-in-law go to settle down with the son. M's parents are allured by the 'videsh' prospectives and get ready for the marriage.
H came home last year in March and the wed lock happened. H went back to Australia and apparently started trying to 'import' the wife. M's spouse visa was rejected and she was staying back at her in-law house with her mother-in-law. Meanwhile, the mother-in-law started pushing M to get her parent's buy luxury items for their daughter. AC, LCD, fridge to name some. Parents, did all their best to make M's life comfortable as long as she is in India.
Meanwhile, H's behavior towards M started changing.The phone conversations became tiring and abusive, taunting and tearing when he blamed M's parents for not 'sponsoring' their daughter to Australia. Also, H is hell bent on applying M's visa for New Zealand instead of Melbourne where he lives, and says, he will keep visiting her once a week. 
All said and done, M's parents, brought their daughter back home. Now M, 3 months pregnant (H visited in February), with nowhere to go, nothing to do is hopeless. 
Sounds familiar? Happens every now and then and with a lot many people.
Videsh, could be alluring. But the truth is, its the girl who suffers the most. Your son could be an investment, but people's daughters are not a lifetime liability that has be paid off and paid off and paid off.


4 Obiter Dicta (Comment here):

Amar said...

Seriously, the whole concept of videsh and NRI's is a bit over rated by everybody! And yes this results in the situation you wrote about the end Sad but true :(

яノςんム said...

very unfortunate are the people who get stuck like this.
but the hope is, everyone isnt alike.

akanksha said...

It sucks :(

яノςんム said...

really. Akki. =\

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