Showing posts with label Being Richa. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Being Richa. Show all posts
Friday, June 1
Respect is earned, not asked for.
I carried a heavy heart for all these years.
Apologizing is almost suicide equivalent for a huge ego like mine, but this time I had to, because I knew I did wrong to you.
I might have hurt many people in the course of life, unintentionally and intentionally, but something I did to you, that too twice, weighed on me. That baggage I carried all this time.
I hurt you because you were in a vulnerable position, while I held the power. I chose wrong people over you, twice.
I knew you were way better than them, but I chose them, because I thought they chose me. Hierarchy. They played me, I played you.
I have no regrets that I chose wrong people, but I regret that I chose them over you. I shouldn't have.
I knew I was wrong, still I thought you'd be better off without me. I let you go. No wait. I shoo-ed you off. How bad was it.
Saying sorry was a difficult task. It took me so long to do it. I gathered guts for almost 4 years. But when I did, you dint even take a minute to say 'it's okay, don't apologize'. That is how nice you are. You are a beautiful human being.
Come to think of it, its funny in a way. I took more than 4 years to say sorry, you took less than 4 seconds to forgive. Or probably, you never held grudges, but I'll take it as forgiveness. You have a beautiful heart.
I always thought of you highly. Now, you've crossed your own level.
You are one person whose memories always brought smile to my face, never a frown, not even a single time. That is why, my guilt conscious rose exponentially whenever I thought of you.
You let it go so quickly, that I dint even get enough time to feel the heaviness evacuate my heart, I carried all these years.
Respect. You've earned this.
Thursday, March 22
That Awkward Moment
Age is just a number.
दिल के बहलाने को ग़ालिब ये ख़याल अच्छा है.
I will be 28 in a few months. I don't know, may be it is one of those days. This morning, this thought struck to me like a lightening bolt. 'What am I doing with my life?' Mid life crisis too soon may be.
10 years ago, I was a proud person, an independent person who had this feeling that I have the liberty to take the decisions of my life. I dint know back then, that the decision I have been taking are not considered as life decisions.
Today, when I look back in the past 10 years, I realize that I have not taken a single decision for my life. Which I could. I did not take a decision, when I should have. But like Geet said in Jab we met, I chose this life for myself, therefore I have no right to crib about it.
I have no idea what to do and how to do. Its just a phase, I'll get back to normal in another 2-3 days I know.
Wednesday, February 15
:)
Life is, after all, very much like a thriller book.
Its really exciting to find out that you predicted it right.
Its exciting. I am happy.
Just two days ago, I struck this realization that I've let it go. And today, a Facebook update made me happy. So happy.
I might just cry out of happiness :) Welcome baby Adah. Even though, they might not want to call you Adah any more.
I might never see you, hold you, hug you or buy you pretty presents as much I want, but I have this love for you. I really do not know why. I just have :)
And no, I wont be the creepy anonymous psycho someone who keeps sending you gifts just because.
Here, this one is for you baby. Only for you. :)
Friday, January 27
The Wish
If I ever get terminally ill, and become dependent on people around me, I think I would not want to live. Not because I would not want to fight, but because I think I would not want to make hell, the lives of people who I become dependent on.
Mercy death, yes. Because I don't want someone else to suffer because I am suffering.
Being selfish? May be.
P.S. Today marks the day when the Twitter Bites take a U-Turn.
Tuesday, January 24
Prompt
Sadness will not leave you unless you decide to leave it. It is a sticker. We need to take it off.
Friday, November 25
Air is Heavy
I skip reading the romantic parts in the books and the blog posts that talk about love and pain. I start reading, but then, I stop somewhere in between.
The emotions are same, timed differently, intensified differently.
And then I think, verbal expression comes naturally to some people. I am not one of them.
Tuesday, November 22
Yun hi kuch kuch
You can not be more sure of anything except your parents' reaction to certain something. It is a weird weird situation. The authority of decision making lies with you, obviously the influence remains theirs. Mine do support me a lot. And I am thankful to God for having blessed me with such a wonderful family.
At times in your life, you come across such people who crush your self esteem to an irreparable level. Reason being, their own need to raise their ridiculously low self esteem. But Again, I am thankful to God, against one such person, I met 4 people who boosted mine without even realizing, they are doing a favor to me. 1:4 is a very high ratio. Not that I'd want a crusher again for another 4 boosters, but Life isn't that a bitch.
Because I am not shallow and blunt to crush people's inflated egos. I am not brought up that way and I've got my standards to maintain.
Sunday, November 13
Illusions.
Love destroys. This is what I thought Rockstar portrayed. Not a review.
Falling in love is very easy. And denying it, even easier. What is difficult, is to not let it burn you inside out. Not being with the one you want to be is like being in a can of worms.
And for people like me, who'd rather stop feeling than feel a lot, the movie was disturbing. I take pride in boasting I have a hold on my emotions. I know how to curb them and not let my heart win over the brain. But there are hell load of people who are on the other side of the line.
And there are times when I think may be they are doing it the right way.
Besides, I want my own JJ with who I can मचाओ as much गंद as I want to :)
P.S. Shammi Kapoor is was the real RockStar!
P.P.S. I think I liked the movie, but it is going to take another watch to get absorbed.
Wednesday, October 12
Paranoia!
Now is the time to move ahead. Free Mind and free heart. But what's stopping me is PARANOIA.
Result of being over cautious and still not been able to protect.
Sunday, September 25
Take Chances.
We meet people, like them, fall in love, give our best, get hurt, fall out of love, smile and move on, get ready to fall in love all over again.
Not Random
Everyone is going to ditch you a some point of time, its your choice who is worth it.
Being careful is good. But it often leads to paranoia.
People, still are not worth a chance.
Wednesday, September 21
To Hell with Spontainity!
Life doesn't go as per the plans. At least, not mine. I had plans, and then, my life happened. *points in the mirror and laughs*
At times, I wonder, if I planned out a suicide (which I most certainly will not), and went to the railway tracks, India will witness a nationwide Train strike or railway failure of some sort.
Like O'Henry wrote in one of his short stories "Many people have achieved many things whose chances of doing so were much inferior than Miss Martha".
Friday, September 16
Sleeping with a Stranger
There is too much fuss these days. People can be found saying 'Indian women are strange. They'll say NO to sleep with a stranger, but will say YES to an arranged marriage.'
Well, I am not against arranged or love marriages, but I never quite understood this thing. How is sleeping with a stranger comparable to arranged marriage.
In my opinion, you'll never be forced to get married to a stranger for one (exceptions excluded); and for two, you'll never be forced to sleep with a stranger. And, I guess the urban people, who do not live in very backward and orthodox societies have this much of hold on their lives. Especially, the people who have a say in the decision of their lives. As in saying Yes or No to an arranged marriage.
You do get a chance to know and understand your partner in an arranged marriage before you land into bed with them.
Also, the intellectual people who have hypothetically proved this theory to be correct, what would you call the people who are up for sleeping with strangers but say NO to arranged marriage?
And, you can not disagree that there are no people like that.
Also, some experienced souls tell me that immaterial of how many years you have been into a relationship, the other person does turn out to be a stranger even in love marriages.
Besides, there are people who think the sole purpose of marriage is getting to sleep with someone at the luxury of their own house, at their own disposal. I have got nothing to say to them.
To each, his own.
IMO, Marriage ≠ Sleeping with a stranger.
Wednesday, June 29
A Punch in the Face of Pyaar.
Spoiler Alert for the people who haven't yet watched Pyaar ka Punchnama. Not a review though.
Every woman who watched and liked Pyaar ka Punchnama, must have been thinking that 'Thank God I am not like any of the three girls in the movie'. Which, being honest, is not true. At some point of our lives, we've all been bitches, or done something or other if not exactly like the three women in the movie.
Just because the movie is about the male perspective which was kind of not portrayed so openly yet, and is new to us on the screen, you can not deny the truth that you haven't been like Neha- the all time cribbing, sulking, crafting and putting the blame onto the guy's shoulders; or like Charu- guiling, shrewd, just using someone for your own convenience and then throwing them out like doodh mein se makkhi; or even like Riya- indecisive and manipulative.
Someone on Twitter a few days back said they all the Indian men want this movie to be a nomination in Oscars. Not for 'Best Movie in Foreign Language' but for 'Best Documentary' category.
But that is just the male perspective.
If the very same movie was made from the woman point of view, the sympathy totally would've been won by the girls, and the guys who have all the pity would have been termed a**holes by all of us.
Of course, the cutest Rajat- the cry baby, emotionally unstable guy, who after living in with a girl for a while decides to leave her and walks out on her. If the movie was not the guys' POV, Rajat had been the moron of the movie. Also, Nishant a.k.a. Liquid- who would've otherwise been considered to continuously taking chances on a girl new in the office and in the town even after knowing that she has a boyfriend and is going through rough phase of the relationship. He would've been understood as the DESPO trying to manipulate an emotionally weak girl and trying to get into her pants.
And Vikrant a.k.a Chaudhry had been the similar DESPO and POSSESSIVE boyfriend. All of the three falling in the category of dorks.
No, I am still unbiased as far the battle of sexes is concerned. Read my views on the topic, in an older post here.
Honestly, the difference is only of perspective. If we consider this neutrally, every married/ in a relationship man on the face of the Earth will be unhappy. So will be every woman. If somehow, everyone decides to remain 'single and happy', this way, the world can not sustain.
Besides, I really liked the movie. there were moments when I literally laughed aloud. The guys were 'not-boring', all three of them and the girls were not 'ugly'. The movie on the whole is very nice.
Oh and the P.S.: I happen to know that 'punchnama' literally translates to 'affidavit' and not the 'punch' punch.
Tuesday, June 21
Transitions
There are times when we come across people who we think are our soul-mates. Who understand us, who complete us. With who, we can share our deepest, darkest secrets. With who, we can be ourselves. We can verbalize our stupid-est of thoughts and deepest desires with them.
I too have met some people like that.
For me, every time, that has been a phase. It happened and it went away. Those people left. And then I realized those very people robbed me, they stole my dreams, took away my wishes. As if I was just a source for them. Source of Ideas.
People use.
P.S. This post is NOT about Love.
Tuesday, June 14
I Behave Best When..
Ignored.
Yes, I behave best when I am ignored. Because that is when I am me. Even being a typical Leo, one of the main characteristics I don't posses is, I don't enjoy attention. Sounds eerie. But that's how it is. When I know nobody is watching me, I can do, say whatever I want. :)
So when I know I am being watched or given attention, I get embarrassed. Also, I find it funny when people flirt with me. Indeed. its funny. I mean someone telling me things about me in a cheesy way, IS funny.
If you are a Leo and reading this, I am sure you must be thinking 'either she is not a Leo or she is lying'. It's not either that I don't like meeting new people or having friends or hanging out in large groups. But I kind of like camouflaging than standing out and make everyone notice me. Of course I love my individuality, its just that I love observing, more than being observed. :D
I don't like when people judge me. In fact, I hate it. And probably that is a reason why I hate being the center of attention. Of course I enjoy when people are jealous of me. In a large group, I'd like to be a leader, but would rather be participative leader than an authoritative one.
No, I do not suffer any inferiority complex.
Neither I am shy. I am bold, outstanding and everything a Leo woman is, except I don't enjoy a lot of attention. One of the reasons I hardly have huge parties on my birthdays. :D I like being wished on my birthday, but being adorned with huge shower of love. That too at once. It embarrasses me. Like for real.
Funny. I know.
You know what to do. Ignore. :P
Monday, May 30
Jaa Chudail!!
This song from Delhi Belly is super. I am totally in love with it. Not because of the music or the movie or the broken heart spirit of the song, but for Chudail.
Chudail. How I love this word. It makes me nostalgic beyond explanation. I have heard this word in like ages.
It reminds of my childhood when my with my chachu, I used to do such things. :D Rhyming nonsensical things and making songs out of them. It used to be such fun. Chudail, bhoot, pret, some other controversial caste identification words counted as cuss words. Teasing people we dint like (mostly the weird cousins) with those songs.
Gawd, I called up my chachu first thing when I heard that song first. :)Gone are the days when these funny words comprised all of my abusive vocab. People would not consider them as nothing, but during those times, Kutta- Kameena used to be the highest degree of abusing someone. And now, these don't even qualify as gaalis.
The growing up part also expands people's vocabularies, so was mine. Thanks to Twitter, many many cuss words and abuses got included in mine. 'Fuck' has become a part of speech. Even though I chew it most of the times in the mouth itself, but there are times when it does escape and makes me feel embarrassed at some places.
Anyway, the word chudail and like still have their charm and for sure, I am going to include it back in my vocab. Also, I am going to need it in coming time. I was referring 'Bitch cousin' who was originally 'chudail cousin', who now will be chudail again.
And hats off to Amitabh Bhattacharya for such amazing lyrics. I already respect him, but the respect just got multiplied manifolds. :)
Kudos to this lyrics:
Chhoti chhoti baato'n se
Tune jo sataya mujhe
Ungli pe nachake tune
Chuna jo lagaya mujhe
Arey jaa jaa jaa
Go to hell....
Arey jaa ja ja
I want silence
Jaa chudail
Jaa chudail
Ya ya
Ja chudail
Palkon pe bithaya tujhe
Ruthi toh manaya tujhe
Pyaar mein toh khuda
Bhi banaya tujhe par (par)
Tujhko kadar nahi
Yeh le dekh thenga mera
Ha ha ha
Tail lene ja tu
Koi kya ukhad lega mera
Ae..
Abey ja ja ja
Go to hell...
Ja ja ja
Once again
Jaa chudail
Ja chudail
Chudail...fida...
Phoolon sa chehra tera
Dil pe tha pehra tera
Reh gaya ab wahaan
Dard gehra tera
Hat...
Phool vool kuch nahi
Sada hua aalo hai tu
You know what you are
Hoor nahi pari nahi
Jungli ek bhaalu hai tu
Arey ha ha ha
Go to hell
Arey ja ja ja
Everybody
Jaa chudail
Jaa chudail
Jaa chudail
Chudail....
Abey ja ja ja
Go to hell
Ja ja ja
Once again
Jaa chudail
Jaa chudail
Chudail
Yea yea.
Download here.Tune jo sataya mujhe
Ungli pe nachake tune
Chuna jo lagaya mujhe
Arey jaa jaa jaa
Go to hell....
Arey jaa ja ja
I want silence
Jaa chudail
Jaa chudail
Ya ya
Ja chudail
Palkon pe bithaya tujhe
Ruthi toh manaya tujhe
Pyaar mein toh khuda
Bhi banaya tujhe par (par)
Tujhko kadar nahi
Yeh le dekh thenga mera
Ha ha ha
Tail lene ja tu
Koi kya ukhad lega mera
Ae..
Abey ja ja ja
Go to hell...
Ja ja ja
Once again
Jaa chudail
Ja chudail
Chudail...fida...
Phoolon sa chehra tera
Dil pe tha pehra tera
Reh gaya ab wahaan
Dard gehra tera
Hat...
Phool vool kuch nahi
Sada hua aalo hai tu
You know what you are
Hoor nahi pari nahi
Jungli ek bhaalu hai tu
Arey ha ha ha
Go to hell
Arey ja ja ja
Everybody
Jaa chudail
Jaa chudail
Jaa chudail
Chudail....
Abey ja ja ja
Go to hell
Ja ja ja
Once again
Jaa chudail
Jaa chudail
Chudail
Yea yea.
Tuesday, May 24
That Awkward Moment
Yes, That awkward moment when you realize that you have been absent from the blog for more than 5 months and then, you start writing ferociously, almost 2 posts a day and that too complaining, cribbing, sulking, and anyone who looks at the blog may have the impression that you are going through a bad break up. LOL.
No, I am not going through any break-up or anything of that sort.
Whatever, this place does look like little gloomy.
This post marks the end of this phase. This place will be a happy place again. Because I have decided to be happy. Not that I am not happy. Technically, I am not Happy because my name is not Happy. :D
Anyway, tuning myself for awesomeness. :D
Let Awesomeness Prevail.
Monday, May 23
Kya kisi ki Zindagi ki keemat itni kam hai humari Country mein?
- A man burns his step son alive in a furnace.
- A man inspired from 'Silence of the Lambs', slaughters wife and keep the pieces stored in a deep refrigerator and dumps one piece at a time at different places away from each other.
- Dead bodies being found in unclaimed suitcases at different places.
- A woman shot in Delhi during daylight.
These all are recent homicides that were hyped by media. My concern is not whether or not they should be punished, my concern is, how on Earth do people manage to literally kill someone. People havepower to bring a life to the world, who gave them the liberty to take away someone's life?
I would like to believe that murders are human beings too. Minus the humanity?
How does their soul their conscious allow them to go ahead and literally butcher someone to death? Does their conscious say nothing to them? Or do they overhear their inner voice? Are they atheists? Do not their hands shiver for once before taking a life? Who are they to deprive someone of their life? Are they plain selfish? What is their authority over another person's mortality?
A part of my soul shakes inside when I read/ hear about a murder. All I can come up with is this dialogue from 'No-one Killed Jessica'. Kya kisi ki zindagi ki keemat itni kam hai humaari Country mein?
May God be with everyone.
Sunday, May 22
No Closures, No Goodbyes
Do things end just like that? Do you not need to have any closures? Do you not need to say goodbyes?
Some people just do it this easy.
A few days back, I thought closure is sought by someone who is utterly guilty and wants to move on. The one who isn't guilty can linger on without closures. But someone I knew (yes, knew), just ended it.
On second thoughts, I guess my theory still hold right. Because the person in question holds me responsible for the renunciation because I refused to be the source of entertainment for them anymore. I thought they might be guilty, but in fact, with all said and done, well actually, NOTHING said and Something NOT Done, I am the alleged one to have turned sides.
Escapism seems to be a new lifestyle.
But as per my own theory, I shouldn't be seeking closure. Probably their behavior has infested a little guilt at the back of my mind somewhere. I might be wrong, because I chose to stop being at someone's disposal. But like I said, I am no lead heroine of a daily soap.
I always thought nobody does anything wrong on purpose, they'll have a justification for what they did was right from their point of view.
Of course, the person here in question must feel the same way.
I am not going to utter or wish bad things about/ for you, because I can not and will not stoop that low.
Honestly, I am hurt. I dint deserve to be treated like that.
Anyway, be good.
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Who Me??
- Richa
- I am an ECHO... Whatever I get, I give it Back.... I am a MIRROR.. Whatever I see, I show it Back... I am NOT sweet, cute, pretty, nice or friendly.
Zeh-E-Naseeb
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Other Witty Ppl
Since August'08
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