Redefining Abstractions: Respect is earned, not asked for.

Friday, June 1

Respect is earned, not asked for.

at 12:05 pm

I carried a heavy heart for all these years.

Apologizing is almost suicide equivalent for a huge ego like mine, but this time I had to, because I knew I did wrong to you.

I might have hurt many people in the course of life, unintentionally and intentionally, but something I did to you, that too twice, weighed on me. That baggage I carried all this time.

I hurt you because you were in a vulnerable position, while I held the power. I chose wrong people over you, twice.

I knew you were way better than them, but I chose them, because I thought they chose me. Hierarchy. They played me, I played you.

I have no regrets that I chose wrong people, but I regret that I chose them over you. I shouldn't have.

I knew I was wrong, still I thought you'd be better off without me. I let you go. No wait. I shoo-ed you off. How bad was it.

Saying sorry was a difficult task. It took me so long to do it. I gathered guts for almost 4 years. But when I did, you dint even take a minute to say 'it's okay, don't apologize'. That is how nice you are. You are a beautiful human being.

Come to think of it, its funny in a way. I took more than 4 years to say sorry, you took less than 4 seconds to forgive. Or probably, you never held grudges, but I'll take it as forgiveness. You have a beautiful heart.

I always thought of you highly. Now, you've crossed your own level.

You are one person whose memories always brought smile to my face, never a frown, not even a single time. That is why, my guilt conscious rose exponentially whenever I thought of you.

You let it go so quickly, that I dint even get enough time to feel the heaviness evacuate my heart, I carried all these years.

Respect. You've earned this.

3 Obiter Dicta (Comment here):

Akanksha said...: Only people with big hearts can accept their mistakes.And you sure have a big one!

For others, 4 years is long enough time to actually forget about everything and not apologize at all.; 1 June 2012 at 12:59 pm
Me said...: Whoever that person is.. you did the right thing :) and you are lucky for they are a part of your life.

It takes a lot of courage to ask for forgiveness. proud of u. much love, richchi; 1 June 2012 at 8:49 pm
bondgal_rulz said...: It sure does take a lot of courage to put thoughts as these out in the open.

Respect.

You have earned this. :)

Cheers; 5 June 2012 at 5:09 pm