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If it was not for twitter, I had missed huge things in life. The pure desi gaalis for starters.

Therefore, it became my rightful duty to give something in return to Twitter. And somehow, I managed to tweet a sneak peak of my gaali vocab before Twitter happened to me.

Also, thanks to Alok Shah aka @lokarlotweet for adding rhyme to each of these. :)

Since those terms were widely appreciated, on Public Demand, here is a list of almost all those things.

Dear People from the past,

Hello.

Its nice to see you in a long time.

It is nice to see that some of you have lost a lot of weight and some of you have put on the shed weight by others.

Some of you have lost hair and some of you have visible wrinkles.

But it definitely is not nice to see you that you sent me an add request on Facebook or have started following me on Twitter.

I left you in the past, because you were not worth carrying forward to the future. Had you been worth, you had lingered on since then and you would not have to find me like this.

Facebook is nice. I have a lot of friends and I keep contact with them; but remember, they know me what I am today. So unlike you. They don't tell me how I have changed and they definitely do not ask me why have not I gotten married yet.

Neither of them never claims to have met my mother in law and not believe when I told them that I was single.

You only know me from what I used to be. It has been over 10 yrs.

I have groomed and changed in those years. So have you. Isn't that why you are being so nice and honey dipped?

As far as Twitter is concerned, it is not a chat program. Neither am I interested in chatting with you. There is really no need of commenting on every update of mine or even asking explanations about it. One thing I have carried about me since time immemorial is the habit of getting irritated on being interfered with. You do not really need to know what is happening with me and what has to be the reason behind every post, every tweet, every update.

And please stop asking me 'who is so and so person on your friend list'

I might not have met each one of the people on my friend list but one thing for sure is they are way better than you in terms of wits and spontaneity. Neither do they bother me by asking useless questions.

Also, every guy who comments on my status and I reply does not have to be my boy friend in denial or in acceptance.

Most importantly, If I know you, or as you say you know me, that does not make me your friend nor does it make you my friend for that matter.

Leave me alone.

It is undoubtedly for the best of all of us.

I dint know that driving was a crime for women in Jeddah. I mean this is absolutely disgusting. They should outright kill their women and ultimately cease to exist if they don't want their women to LIVE.

Anyhow, this post is not about Jeddah or the people. This is about the Indian traffic scenario and Women Drivers.

Most of you would say women are bad drivers. I would agree. But trust me, generalising is not good.

I learnt driving a car when I was in class 10. Though, I acquired a learner's licence when I turned 16, I have driven save ever since. Touch wood. No accidents. I drive on highway too.

So you may reconsider your generalisation about women driving.

Well, actually this post isn't about me too :D if you want, you can read my anecdotes about traffic here :D

I don't know about metros, but in cities like mine, the traffic is terrific (pun intended). People have no traffic sense at all.

In my city, Auto wallas think the road is a gift to them as a part of election campaign or something. They can and they do apply brakes anywhere on the road. in the middle of the road, at a turn, just anywhere without considering the other vehicles on the road. And if by any chance, they stop their auto blocking a lady's car, they give them this stare which could be equivalent 'avada kevda' if we lived in Harry Potter's world.

And these cyclists. They have a notion that they are better than some F1 racer or a VIP riding in a 'laal-batti Ambassador'. They overtake cars and try crossing the roads as if they have got a Nitrox cylinder fixed to their bicycle silencers. Imagine what happens when they get hit, that too by lady. The whole traffic shall gather in the sympathy of the cyclist only because he is 'gareeb'. And the lady shall be shouted upon and if she was driving a car, all the sympathisers plus the victim shall have their eyes fixed on her purse.

All right. Enough of defending women drivers.

On a serious note, I read somewhere. According to a survey, men hit the cars from sides rather than from from or back. That is because of their nature of taking care of past and future. And women hit their cars from front and rear rather than sides because they are used to take care of everyone and everything around them. :)

I have not been into TV since a long time, but yeah I do catch up with some reality shows mostly Indian Idol or dance shows, and I despise the Big Boss and Borrow child shows.

But this, as they claim, is another reality show I am hooked to.. Its called "Raaz Pichhle Janam Ka" on NDTV Imagine.. Nothing like I believe in re-incarnation or someting or I like the show, but one thing for sure is, it has 100% entertainment value.

I mean, I envy the creativity of the script writers of that show. Yes, like every other reality show, it has got to be scripted. Absolutely. Obviously the name of the suggests- Imagine.

I have seen all the 5 episodes of the show till date. The anchor of the show, nonetheless, Mr. Ravi Kisan (yep, Zindagi jhandwa phir bhi ghamandwa fame) doesnt have any thing to do on the show, his script I believe he has crushed in the mixer and gulped down as he blabbers the same lines everyday without fail just altering the name of the volunteer on the show.

The main character of the show is some famous psychiatrist Dr. Trupti Jain, who claims to hypnotise the volunteer and conduct something called "past life regression" on them and takes them back to the journey of their last birth.


First thing I dont understand is, everyone who has volunteered for the show, how have they been so sure to have lived a past life?
Second, Dr. Trupti Jain can make people see their past lives not like as a story but scene to scene, happening to happening, and can take them to and fro to one moment from another and in no sequence.. Like an album, you can play song no. 12, then song no. 3 and then song no 15- like aything.. Huh!
Third, last night, Mr. Lilliput- the actor was on air, and Dr. Trupti Jain took him to his past two lives. I mean, two? are you sure?
Forth, Shekhar Suman the actor when on air, even during his hypnotism, seemed like he is acting. He was telling the happenings of his past life as if he has already known them and did not even try to pretend that he was under hypnotism.

All the people who come to the show suffer one phobia or the other and the phobia they are suffering is how they died in their past life.
I doubt what exactly is this hypnotism? I believe if these stories arent cooked up by the creators of the show, these have to be the sub conscious of the volunteers.

And on the other side of the thoughts, our Bhagwad Geeta says that we get Human life after passing through 84 lakh lives of being other species. And all these people who have come for this regression have had human lives this recently. Are they trying to prove the Bhagwat Geeta theory wrong?

Anyhow, creativity of the creators of this show is at heights. And I will keep watching it till the time it really pisses me off.. :D

Those knowing me close are acquainted with the fact that I have poor immunity. Specifically when the thing comes to oral health (oral here refers to teeth, gums, tongue, mouth and not otherwise). After every few weeks, something or the other comes up troubling me to speak or eat. I have gone through numerous "root canals", gum treatments and molar problems to an extent that every time I have to find a new dentist for I feel embarrassed visiting the same ever since one bantered me to get an all new denture instead. (no comments )
This time it is my swollen gum and inner cheek at the extreme end of the lower jaw on the right side. I have been trying to get an appointment with the dentist in the neighbourhood, (I have been missing the clinic times since past few days for my beloved sleep restrains me to be up for that) failing which I showed up there yesterday without one. After what seemed to be hours of waiting (why don't they include "queuing theory" on MBBS, BDS syllabi?), ultimately mera number aa hi gaya.

Though I was aware of what the problem was, this problem has been occuring time and again for the past one year now. I remember when it came up first time, to my surprise the doctor tried to conceal a laugh. I asked what was wrong, he told me that my appearing wisdom tooth on the upper jaw was disturbing the lower gum causing it to swell. Doctor ki hassi ho gayi and meri band baj rahi thi. The result was the drill machine nipping the evil in the bud (grinding the tooth a li'l bit to relieve the gum). Since then, it grows up every 2-3 months and I have to visit the dreaded thing again. At times I wonder aur kitna bada hoga!!

Dentists are inhuman I must say. I aint saying this, but my experience with hell load of them is saying. They bend into your mouth and consider it a wrestling rink and your tooth their opponent.. I remember once when I had to get one of roots pulled out (extra growth), the dentist was a lady doctor, (ek foonk ki maar i.e. could be blown away with one exhale- I have funny categories to describe physical appearance of people, my fave being 'ek horn ki maar'- used it for our colony watchman) she had put her whole strength for three consecutive days failing to the the required and ultimately her husband (ek thappar/slap ki maar) had to pull it out. Adding a compliment "Sher jaise daant hain" (I am a Leo though ).

But the whole point is why is it called Wisdom tooth when it has not brought any wisdom to me?

No, I'll be 25 too soon, but is wisdom there with me, I doubt it seriously. 3 of my wisdom tooth have already appeared, may be I have to wait for the fourth one to be wise enough.

The idea struck to me when I were upside down for the "Sarvaang aasan" with my coach's help (yes the same gym instructor who is my eye candy these days ). May be b'cuz the rushing blood would have hit the strings of my brain causing it to open up after the long time of non usage.


Shortly after the torture at the dentist, plus compensating for the 'anti socializing movement' I've been indulged into for past few days, decided to pamper myself and showed up at the exquisite saloon of the town. Got myself full body massaged, manicure, pedicure, including a 'detoxifying skin clean up'. I am feeling light and good.

I've decided to 'Re'-discover myself (for I've lost the count whichth time decided it).

And they say wisdom follows the wisdom tooth. Does it seem like so after reading my blog??

P.S.
The scariest thing on the planet is the very comfortable appearing "Dentist's Chair". I am a strong believer of the marketing and consumer behavior theory "Looks are deceptive".

Reminds me of a joke:
When the dentist bent inside a lady patients mouth with a drilling machine in his hand, she clutched his balls tightly. Embarrassed doctor said to the lady "Ma'am you are aware of what you are doing. Aint you?" The lady replied "Yes. This is to remind you that we are both not going to hurt each other".

All those who missed my presence form the Blogs ville, I am obliged and those who dint, its okay!!
Why if you ask me, I would say, oh nothing too important. Okay, FYI, I have a clean track record of being prone to accidents- not hurting myself, but just stumbling upon things and causing them harm. This may be yes inferred as the 'you-know-who-to-blame-when-something-breaks'.
So keeping the same line of action, last week, I slipped off a staircase in my university- the one which I have climbed up and down for everyday- don't-know-how-many-times for the past almost 7 years now. And for a change, I dint break anything, not even my bones. Just in case, you are curious, I guess my heels struck somewhere on the first step while I was busy on a call- (oh it was my brother, stop thinking otherwise) and I slipped almost 12 stairs. I was too embarrassed even to open my eyes and look around if anyone had seen me falling and besides the pain, I was smiling on my own Idiocracy. Thankfully nobody was around, credits- exam time in the university. The outcome was a sprain in my right foot and sore right body for I was saved from tumbling down.
That was not enough I suppose- courtesy- my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder to balance things, to add on, I managed a slip in the bathroom the very next day (okay, you can laugh aloud). This was a call for my left body. I fell on my left arm and dint break the bone again, just managed muscle pull and funny elbow.
I had no options but to stay tight in bed- tight because I could not move not even toss or turn, without anything to do but to watch the Idiot box. Yeah, again my lappie was not by my side, was gone for fixing.
The pain was stubborn and it stayed for over a week now. But still I managed to be on gtalk on my desktop for a while almost everyday, blogging on the old man is a nightmare though plus my left arm was unable to type.
Okay, if you are thinking why am I ranting about my injuries, in this post, then here is the reason: what I already had hypothesised beforehand and now confirmed is "When things go wrong, all you have for sure is Free Advice".
Why if you ask me, I realised that people do care for me though in their own funny ways.
Everyone I told about my misfortune of managing the two great falls in two consecutive days were ready with a crisp comment about my carelessness in the first place and then a crisp advice to take care and being careful in the second place.

Following are some of the reactions (few are copied as such from twitter):
A: I dint push you off, I swear, our disagreement apart, I would never do that!!
B: Have you started drinking??
C: You must try wearing flats sometimes.
D: What were you thinking?? Are you in love??
E: Get a "how to not slip for Dummies"
F: Theek se chala kar, no more kood faand (walk steady, no more jumping)
G: don't drink too much alcohol, nothing wrong with you, its the alcohol in you
H: your stars are not right- greh nakshatras
I: in the words of Sigmund Freud your Id is looking for someone to support you
J: Oh Shit!! how many tiles did you break??

Besides this, I had some really serious reactions and really concerned ones too..
Thanks for your concern people, I am all right now and my lappie is back again.

P.S. I'll soon catch up with all your blogs..

For a change, this post isnt going to be Grammar and language oriented one.

The title of the post is apt. I am tired of saying "God try me". Rabb ji mera 'try' ka button press kar ke bhool gaye lagta hai.

I woke up in a rotten mood today. Why rotten, dont ask me. Might be some dream I dont remember. To add on to it, I felt inflated. AAArrggghhhh!! Gym me haddiyaan tudwa ke pagal ho gayi hoon and fir bhi inflated!! Kya musibat hai.
Zindagi jhandwa wala din hai aaj.

Was talking to a friend online and she was super pissed off on the very same old problem- shaadi. I fail to understand, is shaadi the centre of the universe?
I fail to understand the folks. They inculcate you with ambitions while you are growing up. Kuch karo, kuch banke dikhaao. Aur jab turn aati hai kuch ban ke dikhane ki toh pata nahi kahan se beech mein ye shaadi tapak padti hai. Shaadi karo. Acha aur to aur, pehle to sara din padho- padho aur kuch mat karo, aur fir suno padhayi mein reh gaye, koi ladka dhoondh hi lete. Kya musibat hai.
Okay, I love my folks, I know whatever they do is for my own best, but I am cribbing today. Dint I say I am rotten mood.

Aur suno abhi. Kuch log itne mean hote hain. Jab apna mann kara aa gaye mooh uthha ke aur jab zaroorat nahi hai toh poocho bhi na mud ke that why aren't you talking? Do you have some problem? As if the other person is problem-proof and emotions-proof.
As if hum to wehle hain. I am tired of being at some one else's disposal. Mujhe zyada aakhar aayi hui hai jo I have to drag the relationship? ( Am I the only desperate one?)
Koi na. Gin Gin ke badle loongi.

Sabse badi musibat toh batana bhool hi gayi. Yaar padhayi karna bada hi aukha kaam hai. (hard, difficult job). Aiwen hi bina zaroorat ki musibat mol le li hai maine!! Phew!! *Drains sweat off the forehead*

Bas haan bas. Kaafi hai aaj ke liye.

Okay, yes this is a lame way to kick start a new month, but I am really pissed off. The reason, okay, is the tantrumous mood swing fit since yesterday. Now adding on this, I received the following message in my mail box.

Orkut, face book friend requests are all right not that annoying, but friend request in the mail box?? and that too anonymous? AAAARRRGGHHHH!!!

Anyone really wants to do me a favor?? You have the mail id, please thrash this person on my behalf..

Hmmm.. I am the one who has chosen to get married with a person my folks set me up with. For those who are not acquainted with what is eating me up, refer to Mission Dulha Dhoondo.

It has got on my nerves to an extent that it gives me shudders every now and then. Not that I am skeptical that my parents wont find me a good match, but coz the prospective grooms are sometimes so tacky and fatigued that I wonder what would become of me if I struck with a person for my lifetime who could not keep me interested.

I met such a guy. He had come over to my place with his family. Now when it came to getting to know each other, he proposed that it would be awkward talking circumferenced with relatives and all, so we should go out for a drive and then talk. I dint mind and went with him.

I don't know but I had a feeling that he was somewhat uncomfortable and uneasy. Therefore, I had to initiate talking. And in no less than 5 minutes I reached the 'saturation point' where I could no longer drag the conversation.

I quit. Neither did he speak anything. So I increased the volume of the music and sat staring out of the window. I don't know what got into me and I felt dizzy. What else can you do on an aimless long drive..

And that finally ended up with my dozing off in the car while the guy continued driving a destination less journey..

I felt that when he realized that I am sleeping, he had pulled one of the edges of my Dupatta to make sure I was. And then he would have turned the car towards home.

He literally shook me to wake me up when we reached home. I felt somewhat embarrassed and got out of the car and ran inside the home.
I think I heard him calling behind my back, but I dint stop to answer. OMG!! In such a situation any sane person would feel disgusted. And my sincere condolences to that guy..

Oh and then I heard a faint familiar beep- beep in the back ground and woke up to realize that it was a dream. Or a nightmare. Whatever.. Thank Gawd!!

Now stop rolling and drop in your comments about your take what would you do struck in similar situation. In my as well as the in the guys shoes :D

Honour my foot!!

But my question is does the world ‘International’ exclude India?

They treat women like a piece of @%#$ and celebrate women's day to cover that all up. They will stand up and bow to the women power on March 8 every year to justify the rest 364 days of the year.

The gentry of the society will hold seminars, award functions to show respect to women liberation, honour their achievements and celebrate their abilities.
As soon as this day passes, things get back to normal.

Indians are big time hypocrites. Their mythology, their culture tells them to treat women like goddess- they worship young girls in the days of Navratri, and as soon as it is over, they do not hesitate to kill their unborn and even born baby girls in the greed of a son who would lead them to Moksha. How justified is it to kill a living being in the desire of a state beyond your own life which none has seen?? How could they have the guts to abandon a new born baby in the trash bins to let them be scratched by strays?

Girls do not get an education as their parents think it will be useless for them. At times they are deprived of education to help the parents bring up their younger siblings or just because they can work as maids and earn an extra bite.

As per the culture, they have to treat their women- their daughters in law, wives as goddess Lakshmi that symbolises wealth and prosperity but they do not fear while beating them up for not bringing the cash and kind in- from their parents as in dowry. They are not afraid to burn them alive, to hang them to ceiling fans, to make them pop sleeping pills and what not.

The plight of widows is not hidden from anyone here. They are looked upon as inauspicious beings. They are deprived of basic amenities of life, be it food or bedding.


Prostitution is a social evil that has emerged from the desires of men in the dark of the night; in the day light, those same women are treated as untouchables who satisfy their needs. I wonder how do they provide their services without being touched.

I ask why the women in their own vicinity cannot breathe free. Why do have to think before stepping out of their homes? Why do they have to bother about eve teasing? Why cannot they wear apparels of their choice? Why are they treated as an object of lust and not as a human being?

Rape victims in our country as treated as if the accident caused to them was their own mistake.
Coming on to those big names, who think of themselves as the contractors of religion and culture. Who has given them an authority to touch another woman who is none of their concern in the first place let alone beating them up?

I fail to understand this funda, that in a country with such hollow society, one section celebrates the women’s day..

Oh by the way, Happy Women’s Day!!