Tuesday, July 7
What are you going to chose?
Of late, I have come across a relatively new concept of Marriage of Convenience.
We are all aware of Love Marriages and Arranged Marriages.
In Love Marriages, two people who fall for each other and they get married, whether their folks agree or dont and at times finally agree, many love stories dont end as marriages and many end as marriages begin.
In Arranged marriage on the other hand, folks fix you up with a family they think is suitable, your prospective partner is chosen by them testing on every aspect. At times you immediately fall in love with your fiance, in other cases, love doesn't come even after years of marriage and some marriages break too.
But this concept is marriage of convenience. Love is nowhere in the scene. You are nice friends with the other person and you are both aware of each others aspirations and desires. And you decide to get married. This way, you are in a relationship for the sake of your families, friends and yourself.
I have come across many reasons to be such a relationship. one is when you are great friends, both single and unable to find a suitable match for yourself. And you make a pact that till certain age, if you still remain single, you will marry each other. Since you have been friends for years, you know the other person well and can be dependent on the other one too. sometimes this is also referred to as back-up husband/ wife.
Another is, when you are friends, and you both have high aspirations in life- career wise, and still dont want to get married and your folks are obsessed with the idea of getting you married, you get married to each other. this way you shut their mouths, pretend to be happily married and concentrate on your career without any pressure from your better half.
Another reason, as we all watched in the movie- Fashion. Mugdha Godsay- a struggling model marries Sameer Soni- a Gay Fashion designer who doesn't want his homosexuality come out in public.
Another reason, when you had a relationship, but under some circumstances, you could not end up together, now, you are still unable to get over that relationship but still you get married for the sake of your folks and even yourself, without any obligations towards your better half.
Another reason is when you know the other person can give you ample breathing space and can let you live the way you want to, you decide to get married and this way you don't lose your freedom and can have a relationship of your own convenience.
So what are you going to chose?
In Arranged marriage on the other hand, folks fix you up with a family they think is suitable, your prospective partner is chosen by them testing on every aspect. At times you immediately fall in love with your fiance, in other cases, love doesn't come even after years of marriage and some marriages break too.
But this concept is marriage of convenience. Love is nowhere in the scene. You are nice friends with the other person and you are both aware of each others aspirations and desires. And you decide to get married. This way, you are in a relationship for the sake of your families, friends and yourself.
I have come across many reasons to be such a relationship. one is when you are great friends, both single and unable to find a suitable match for yourself. And you make a pact that till certain age, if you still remain single, you will marry each other. Since you have been friends for years, you know the other person well and can be dependent on the other one too. sometimes this is also referred to as back-up husband/ wife.
Another is, when you are friends, and you both have high aspirations in life- career wise, and still dont want to get married and your folks are obsessed with the idea of getting you married, you get married to each other. this way you shut their mouths, pretend to be happily married and concentrate on your career without any pressure from your better half.
Another reason, as we all watched in the movie- Fashion. Mugdha Godsay- a struggling model marries Sameer Soni- a Gay Fashion designer who doesn't want his homosexuality come out in public.
Another reason, when you had a relationship, but under some circumstances, you could not end up together, now, you are still unable to get over that relationship but still you get married for the sake of your folks and even yourself, without any obligations towards your better half.
Another reason is when you know the other person can give you ample breathing space and can let you live the way you want to, you decide to get married and this way you don't lose your freedom and can have a relationship of your own convenience.
So what are you going to chose?
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45 Obiter Dicta (Comment here):
Are you seriously considering marriage of convenience?
Coz if you do, do inform me *wink*
:) i think i can give up my convenience eventually... but then he wouldnt let me give it up if he loves me :D
love always finds a way...even in this kinda setup...or atlst lust does
interesting.. actually, i do have a friend with whom i have a deal of this sort. we called it 'the backup'. although, marriage of convenience sounds a better term! i have heard of friends with benefits but this is much better yes :P or well, that is quite a personal choice :P
ah...
can't say anything...i'm only 15.. :|
Nice post and very well written.
best of both worlds :)
ah... i am all in favor of it....
i am seriously speaking not at all ready for marriage... but family and society want nothing else.. so if i get a guy who will respect my freedom and personal space and expect the same from me, i will marry him at once... Love n mush are too old school.. it aint practical anymore
wat abt u, darling
Inne saare types k marriages hote hain?? Meko tto pata hi nahi tha!!!
My mom says I'll never be able to find a guy for myself. Sob sob. :(
Marriage of convenience ki choose karna padega mujhe shayad. :D
And I remember making such a pact with a friend. Lol. The age limit fixed is 30. he he
Oye i dunno about this ok...see..this convenient marriage thingie might work at first..but come on..somewhere along the line...one of the two might start deveolping feelings for the other..and its not just that...there is always a shelf life to this..what do u do when u ve reached where u want to reach?? get a divorce and marry someone else??
what about kids??!!!
see..its not as convenient as it looks na??
luv
amith
i dont think this convenient marriage can work all the time.. love marriage is more appealing to me..
hmm sounds like a gud idea... ;)
Though it sounds fine,one would be better off facing the wrath of the society staying alone!! There's no point in going for this 'marriage of convenience' on a long run though.
Haha...Eveyone else said what i wished to say... Seems like it does work out initally but baademe kabhi na kabhi to pyar hota ho ga na..? dont tell me lifetime, friends banke rehna padega... :-P
BTW tum to gayaab si ho gayi ho :-)
This is an ok concept. The problem with this is that u lose on the love factor...intentionally.
Ya this is arguable but for today's world, I guess this seems to be a concept that can work.
me?? i'm one confused being for now ... :P
Anyway.. this marriage of convenience.. recently my cousin got married to a very good frnd of her.........
update us on the latest in ur 'Mission dulhan doondho' .. ;)
u wld have to also do a tag.... very badly.. :)
Cheers..!!
Arjun
Ummm... :) Will letcha know in due course of time. ;)
Peace.
oh well.
some marry.
because they dont want to end up alone :)
actually, a lot do!
Have a great weekend. cheers
@ Mahul,
:D u will be intimated!!
@ seher,
ahaan.. love is bful, but when it doesnt come, u can chose the other thing :)
@ Mayz,
lust sure would, but love.. yeah may be eventually..
@ Divya,
:D i guess almost everyone of us has a backup plan :D
@ Punya,
u got time :d
@ Gigi,
thnx :)
@ Arv,
wish u all the best :)
@ d Rat,
totally, totally.. why else do u think i have written this long post :P ;)
i am totally in for a marriage of convenience.. :D
@ Isha,
hehe, banane ko to hum is se zyada types ke marriages bhi bana sakte hain, ye mere defined types hain only :D
oye oye, dun worry, even in case u dun find a guy for urslef, i am sure some eligible bachelor would sure find his way to u :D so tell ur mom to stop worrying :D
and as long as u have the back-up, u need not worry na :D
@ Aw.S.M.
lolzie.. when did I say tht u can never fall in love? I am juz talking about how to get into a relationship :D
ofcourse u can fall for ur married partner and even out of marriage ;)
Divorce is the last thing they can do if they dun fall for some outsider.
kids? where did they come in from? if they have kids, it has to be out of mutual consent..
@ Amal,
oh sure it is.. wish u all the best for the same :)
@ Harshi,
hai na?? ;)
@ Karthik,
i dunno about the long run, and a marriage of convenience is not only for society, it is also for ur own good. and why not if both the ppl are involved are in for it?
@ Mahesh,
Hona chahiye pyaa, zaroor :)
padega is no sir pe talwaar, i guess love has to be mutual.. :)
and for ur btw, actually we hav terrible power cuts over here, juz coping up with them..
" Anand,
if u have love in ur life, u dun need to go for this thing.. :D
and yeah totally, marriage of convenience isnt as bad as it sounds :D
@ Arjun,
ohh, u still hav time for getting married, but let us know which one do you chose in the due course of time, i hope a lOve one ;)
oh totally, u guys will be intiametd of the proceedings :D
ummm, tag, okay, i find one :D
Cheers!!
@ Kartz,
sure, I wud sure wanna know :)
" deluded,
u r absolutely correct :)
@ Gigi,
thnx hun :)
This ia a good one....i would say a useful one...
Even arranged and love marriages can turn for the sake of convenience with time..
Whatever the form when you marry you are taking chance. if you are lucky your marriage can last a happy lifetime...
So why take chances!!!!
Hmmm..... ;-)
well, i will go for a love cum arrange marriage , and if we end up being a NOt-SO-LOVING couple....
we would have no option but to transform our marriage in a convinient one .. lol ..silly , i know .
Nice post .
I dont know what to choose..i leave it up to Lord to choose the best for me (I'm lazy :P )
I think love marriage is good.
I think love marriage is better than arrange marriage.
--
sam
( online GED | high school diploma | men divorce help | tcl training )
Well put! Razz pichle janam ka is getting on my nerves, actors who have failed in acting! R good choice to make it to show, cause then no one will suspect them!
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