Saturday, December 13
Messed Up
I am all messed up.. That is all what I know as for now..
May be I dunno how to handle emotions, or I just feel, this time the gush of the flow is too heavy to handle..
I am in a kind of awkward situation. I am big time mixed up. I dunno which emotion to pick up..
I am furious, I dunno why..
I am low, I dunno why..
I feel saved, I thank God for it..
I wanna cry, but tears dun help me...
I wanna scream, but dun feel like even opening my mouth..
I feel nauseated...
I have exhausted myself, but still I dont feel like sleeping..
Though it is something, I never dignified enough to even talk about, I thought it had stopped affecting me.. But I just dont understand...
I am writing it, I thought, writing it up could help me understand what exactly am I feeling...
Emotions... I guess this is what happens when emotions take over, and you generally avoid the encounter with them.. I thought I am stronger, and I can very well take care of my emotions rather than being 'emotional fool'... But that could be done only when yon understand what you are going through.. The sudden and such random outburst of the 'dam' that held back emotions is not acceptable..
My reticence has slipped to the background somewhere.. This certainly is not 'Being Richa'..
I dint wanna publish this post, but somehow I feel, I need the feedback..
I could close the comments to this post, but somehow, I think I need the feedback...
December has been full of emotions on lower notes, I hope they end with the year too... But Cha.alo, I'll manage, or say I have to...
Image courtsey: here
Friday, December 12
Lukky Divz' Blessings
I feel I am running short of words to express thanks to Divz, she has blessed me with 5 awards in one go :)
Divz, Huney, U r a sweetheart :)
Wednesday, December 10
WHAT ARE FRIENDS FOR?
Declaration- This is a self analysis post. I aint a friendless person, writing this in frustration or out of loneliness, but this is something I have realized over time. Neither am I justifying myself.
Friends, amigos, buddies, and pals, we call them our extended families.
So they are. I have loads of friends; I make friends everywhere I go. I am a socialable person.
But friends? What are they??
Being an Indian, I bet you all are into the habit of using ‘Yaar’ with every sentence. But tell me how many people around you do you actually consider friends? How many do you really care about? How many do you stand for every time?
I read on a funny quotes portal a few days back,
“A friend is someone who is surely there when he needs.”
On the first thought, one would laugh at this, but on a serious thought, I guess everyone would agree.
I can at least take it on myself. I told it publicly in a tag I did a few weeks back that I am very good at losing contacts. How mean… :(
I have many friends, of which some are really close and who I value more than anything. Sometimes I just wonder am I worth being a friend?
Trust, the basic ingredient of friendship, do I have it apt quantity in myself, am I enough trustworthy? My friends who tell me their secrets, don't I spill them knowingly? Over the blog or over into someone’s ears? I say 50-50. I am keeping a few secrets of my friends which I hope go with me to my grave, but I can just hope.
On the other hand, do I trust my friends? I say no. Save one or two closest friends, I do not tell anything to anyone. They call me secretive, insensitive, unsocial, rock-hearted and what not. Do not I deserve it? Well, I say I do.
I say, I am an echo, what ever I get, I give it back; I say, I am a mirror whatever I see, I show it back. As long as someone is good to me, I will be good to them. But that is not being modest, but then I say, even if I be modest, what awards am I gonna earn? The adjectives I have been awarded shall remain.
Why is it that when I really need someone to be besides me do I find myself alone? My worst fear is being left alone. So the way out I ‘ve found is to be alone, to learn it, to tackle it.
I see people around me, who are manipulative, mean, self- centred, arrogant, and high headed. I too might have been fit in these categories at times. But why do I be a dedicated friend? When I know I am not getting it back?
Expectations. They jump in from nowhere. I know I do not fit in the category of a dedicated friend, so how do I expect anyone else to be so…
(I think I need to sum it up now…)
I try being a good friend, though I fail at times. I love all my friends, at least those who I consider ‘friends’.
Signing off for now…
XOXO!!
“A friend is someone who is surely there when he needs.”
On the first thought, one would laugh at this, but on a serious thought, I guess everyone would agree.
I can at least take it on myself. I told it publicly in a tag I did a few weeks back that I am very good at losing contacts. How mean… :(
I have many friends, of which some are really close and who I value more than anything. Sometimes I just wonder am I worth being a friend?
Trust, the basic ingredient of friendship, do I have it apt quantity in myself, am I enough trustworthy? My friends who tell me their secrets, don't I spill them knowingly? Over the blog or over into someone’s ears? I say 50-50. I am keeping a few secrets of my friends which I hope go with me to my grave, but I can just hope.
On the other hand, do I trust my friends? I say no. Save one or two closest friends, I do not tell anything to anyone. They call me secretive, insensitive, unsocial, rock-hearted and what not. Do not I deserve it? Well, I say I do.
I say, I am an echo, what ever I get, I give it back; I say, I am a mirror whatever I see, I show it back. As long as someone is good to me, I will be good to them. But that is not being modest, but then I say, even if I be modest, what awards am I gonna earn? The adjectives I have been awarded shall remain.
Why is it that when I really need someone to be besides me do I find myself alone? My worst fear is being left alone. So the way out I ‘ve found is to be alone, to learn it, to tackle it.
I see people around me, who are manipulative, mean, self- centred, arrogant, and high headed. I too might have been fit in these categories at times. But why do I be a dedicated friend? When I know I am not getting it back?
Expectations. They jump in from nowhere. I know I do not fit in the category of a dedicated friend, so how do I expect anyone else to be so…
(I think I need to sum it up now…)
I try being a good friend, though I fail at times. I love all my friends, at least those who I consider ‘friends’.
Blogger Guys, you are a blessing to me :)
Abhi, Divya, Kush, Vibs, Rupal, I miss you loadz guys..
Signing off for now…
XOXO!!
P.S. This post was initially intended for Mahul's blog, but the way it turned out, it is best suitable over here only, sorry buddy!!
Monday, December 8
**Featured!!**
Ahem Ahem :D
Now this is an attention seeking post, I have been featured.
Many thanks to Mahul, for inviting me over. I have written a guest post for his blog- just another "Anecdote platter- on the road!!"
Check out n do comment :)
Yeah, I shall be back soon with the "Real Stuff" :)
Sunday, December 7
All that Jazz
So here come the promised videos from the Jazz evening I happened to attend few days back. As I just said, we do not have very great techno auditoriums over here in the town, it was an evening organized by the local Art Gallery as a part of Culture exchange programme. The group vocal-ed by Honor Heffernan, and her trio, comes from Ireland and they are into Jazz. I am an immature videographer guys, so bear with the videos. All in all, I enjoyed the evening so thought of bringing it to you too.. :)
Wednesday, December 3
Gr8est Romantic Numbers Ever
Presenting here is the album - Greatest Romantic Numbers Ever.
Thanks for all your suggestions and contributions. It really feels nice to have replies from all over the blogosphere when I asked for help for the same :D
Also, I managed to lift the restriction of the 'female solos' ;)
Monday, December 1
Blood Brothers
On the 'World AIDS Day' , presenting one of the most beautiful short movies- Blood Brothers directed by Vishal Bhardwaj..
The question is- Had you been in Ayesha Takia's shoes, would you have forgiven your beau on finding out he/ she had cheated on you? And your reaction after discovering the non existence of the virus??
The question is- Had you been in Ayesha Takia's shoes, would you have forgiven your beau on finding out he/ she had cheated on you? And your reaction after discovering the non existence of the virus??
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Who Me??
- Richa
- I am an ECHO... Whatever I get, I give it Back.... I am a MIRROR.. Whatever I see, I show it Back... I am NOT sweet, cute, pretty, nice or friendly.
Zeh-E-Naseeb
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Since August'08
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